The Most Important Rule Of Hypnotic Communication

by Peter Saks on May 7, 2009

Hi,
In this article I am going to cover a very important rule of hypnotic persuasion. As I mentioned in previous part of this course, by effective communication we mean taking person from his current mental state to the one you want him to be, the one that is more beneficial for you.

I'm not going to bore you with theory and I will show you this rule on a very interesting example.

Let's pretend you have just bought high-priced designer jeans. But, after few days of using them you have spotted your back pocket is starting to unstitch. So obviously you have decided to take them back to the shop you have bought them in.

With receipt, jeans and conviction that you are the victim in this situation, you started talking to the salesperson trying to get a refund. But, saleswomen after hearing you out and examining your jeans, replied with a smile on her face: "There is no reason to be worried Sir, your jeans are absolutely fine.".

How would you react?

Would you stay calm and collected? Or would you, using wording adequate to the situation, explain to her that she is wrong and you want to speak with her superior?

Most of the people would choose the second way. But, why do we react in such a way? Clearly this salesperson didn't want to make you irritated or angry.

It is a common mistake, made by people that have no experience in persuasion. The main reason is that she has completely ignored elements of your negative experience, both verbally and inverbally(remember her smile). So what were the negative aspects of your experience?

- You have bought very expensive jeans.
- After only a few days their back pocket started to unstitch.
- You were expecting a product of much higher quality for such a price.
- You have lost your time in order to return the product.
- Overall this situation has irritated you.

Therefore when the saleswomen said "you are not right", it resulted in a hard internal opposition to what she said. After all you know how unstitched back pocket looks like.

The saleswomen would achieve much better effect if she would say something like this:

"Sir, I understand you have bought very expensive jeans and after just a few days of using them you have spotted the defect. This combined with the fact you have lost your time to come here, can be irritating. Please wait for a moment and I will go for my superior and together we will find the most satisfying solution for you."

This time the saleswomen has confirmed all negative elements of your experience and propose a very satisfying outcome. Therefore she made you feel understood and calm. This is much more professional and elegant way to resolve this problem.

So what is this most important rule of hypnotic communication?

If you want to persuade others successfully, always start from feelings, experiences and situation of the person you're talking to and only after that proceed to making him/her feel, think or do what you want.